Finding My Way

It has been a little over two months since we have moved and I am still staring at boxes in our garage and bonus room.  We are slowly working our way into our new home, creating a new fabric for the day to day rhythm of our lives.  Being a military spouse has taught me so very much about working with constant change.  We change houses, churches, doctors, hairdressers, our favorite places to shop, grocery stores and all the things we can no longer find…or things we can finally get now…vets, piano teachers, homeschool groups, sewing teachers and yes, even friends.  We always keep the old friends, but must become accustomed to not seeing them regularly and finding new ones.  That is one of the hardest things about moving.  Sometimes it seems like friends are plentiful in some places, sparse in others…just another indication of a new season in one's life.

As much as I dreaded Oklahoma…and believe me, I did!  I am learning that my Father in Heaven has His beauty everywhere, despite the myriad of scorpions that I find in my home!  The sunsets here are beautiful and the crazy wind?  Well, who would have thought?  My children love it here!  There are birds that we see here almost on a daily basis that I never saw back east…like a great blue heron and a lovely osprey that fishes in the pond behind our yard.  There are coyotes serenading us some evenings…that I must say is not quite a thrilling!

And as much as I have always wanted to stay put in my own home…planting fruit trees that I can watch grow with the passing of each year, painting scriptures and small pictures on my walls, etc., God continues to show me that I am only passing through.  This military life gives me a true taste of the pilgrimage.  Life is so very short.  Children grow up so quickly.  Soon, I will be staring at the empty nest years and I will long for these transient days when we were all together.  What really matters is that we have each other and more importantly, we have the Lord.  Everything else is a far second from that fact.  And although my children will never remember their childhood home like most children…I pray they remember the love that went with them everywhere they lived.  And I hope they take away the thought of blooming where God plants them…no matter where that is.  

Elections Have Consequences

I have been listening to political pundits and radio/TV personalities about the outcome of last night's election.  One phrase that is finding its way among the conservative circles is "elections have consequences."  This is too true.  And to say that I am disappointed in the outcome of this election, would honestly, be an understatement.  Already, there is the analysis of what went wrong.  Somehow conservatives didn't court the Latino community enough…they didn't deal with women's issues enough…Romney was a little too late in showing he was a personable guy…conservatives didn't do a good enough job in proving this was Obama's economy rather than Bush's…and on and on it goes.  But what most seem to be overlooking is that there is a fundamental change in the make-up of this country, yes and even the world.

Conservatives are not conservatives simply because that is a great thing to be. Conservatism was built on Biblical principles and that is its fundamental foundation.  Working was God's idea long before it was a Republican one.  God said a man and woman would make up traditional marriage, long before it became a pillar of the conservative movement.  Helping others without enabling them has always been God's way of doing things.  Being responsible in your stewardship of your monies was God's idea way before the Republican's made it a mandate.  The sanctity of human life is God's idea, not conservatives.  

If you look at the social issues that have been passed this election, to me, the reason behind the loss of the election is clear.  Two states legalize same-sex marriage, Colorado passes the legalization of marijuana for any use, not just medicinal, Massachusetts introduced an amendment to legalize doctor-assisted suicides.  One thing I agree with the President on is that we are no longer a Christian nation.  We were founded on Christian principles…we were once a Christian nation…but no longer.  Biblically Christians have always been in the minority.  The Bible makes that clear.  But, America was at least always morally Christian.  That is no longer the case.  And that is why this election was lost.  It is a spiritual problem and no candidate in the world would be able to fix it, not even a conservative one.  Now, please don't get me wrong.  I think it is our duty to vote for the candidate that most closely aligns themselves to Biblical principles, but that candidate will not change the hearts of men. 

So what does this mean for Christians?  Elections do have consequences.  What they will be is only known by God.  But, I do know this.  It is time for those who call themselves Christian, including myself, to make sure they quit looking for their salvation in a political party or movement.  Work in a movement for the good of the country?  Yes, but never, never, never cross the line in thinking this is the way to save our country.  Spiritual revival is the only way to save this land and that only happens through prayer and sharing the Gospel with others. Some of us wouldn't have a problem knocking on doors to hand out a political flyer, but how many of us are as courageous to share Christ?  And believe me, I say this to myself long before I say it to you.  I have not been good about this.  Many times I have cared more about my comfort, or what others will say or think of me.  Time is short and people are dying without Christ.  God still reigns and none of this has happened without His authority.  Somehow this works out in His plans for all of us, and only God knows.  But, I do know this…He promises that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.  That is good news.  So instead of fretting about who is occupying Pennsylvania Avenue…rejoice that our Heavenly Father is in Heaven ruling the affairs of men.  Pray…pray…and pray some more.  Pray God brings revival…that He gives men eyes to see and ears to hear…that He strengthens us and gives us courage.  Pray that we will not fear man, but God. We are only passing through…our citizenship is in Heaven and no election can ever take that away from us!  God bless you!

Where the Buffalo Roam

I used to sing the song when I was a kid in North Carolina, "Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam…"  Little did I know it was prophetic for me many years later.  About 20 minutes from our house, we have a Wildlife Refuge.  It spans about 600 acres across parts of Texas and Oklahoma.

They are actually bison.  There are herds of bison, elk, and long horn cattle that run free here.  It really is a fascinating place.  The children love it.  

Yes, I was really that close to this guy while he was scratching his head!  Fortunately, we were in our van.  You can get out and walk here, but these are still wild animals and you still have to be careful.  We were told there were deaths from the animals every year.  Some people get too close and end up losing their lives.

This guy was awfully big.  They are so used to vehicles…they aren't even phased.  But, of course, if I were as big as he is, I might not be phased either!

This guy was eating beside the road. 

This is a little harder to see, but there is a prairie dog there.  They have a large part of the refuge that has hundreds of these little guys.  They are so adorable!    

This is one of the more pleasant things we like about Oklahoma.  I look forward to filling you in on other things as well.

On another note, today is election day…Please go out and vote.  Remember, regardless of who is President elect this time tomorrow…Jesus is still on the throne!

Reflection

Photography by Joy Fowler

Eight months since my last post…and so much to tell.  There have been mountaintop experiences and deep valleys I have traversed.  But, through it all, God's hand has led and He has been my rock and refuge in every time of good and trouble.  I have missed the blogging world, but needed to step away for a while.  Sometimes we must do that.  We must step back and evaluate…listen to the Lord, find what He is calling us to do and always to be faithful to that.  

I don't know if I will divulge all the things that have happened along the way.  Some are too personal, too raw to write.  It is enough that God knows.  But, I know that in many ways I am not the same blogger I was.  Experiences change us…they deepen our understanding of so many things…they sharpen our focus. 

Since my last post we have moved across the country.  We left North Carolina to find our new home in Lawton OK.  The above picture is one of the many beautiful sunsets we enjoy overlooking the pond behind our house.  I hope to fill you in about our new home soon.  God has been so very gracious to me.  He continues to walk with this child of His every step of the way.  I cannot thank Him enough!

When God Redirects

I have confessed to you all before that I am a planner.  I like to plan so much at times, that the planning is often  more fun for me than actually carrying out those plans.  I would be content having large blocks of time to plan for all sorts of things…menus, homeschooling, chore charts, reading lists, and on and on and on!  Every year around the first or so of December, I begin getting a little giddy.  And it is not about what gift might be waiting for me under the tree, but rather the fact that another year is approaching so that I can start making my list of goals for the approaching year.  I know…that's a little weird.  I admit it.   

I have read books, listened to CD's and watched DVD's about the importance of planning and the need to do so.  I truly loved those books and lectures!  But, recently, God has redirected me in a way that I never suspected.  It is in every way against my nature and personality.  But, God often does that when we ask Him what we need to change.  And I am no exception.  It has finally occurred to me that God does not want another grandiose list from me of all the things that I want to accomplish for Him in the coming year.  God wants me to focus on who I am rather than what I will do.  I know my tendency.  I feel better about myself when I can check off a list of things that I feel make me a successful wife, mother, friend, church member, etc.  God doesn't want me to get some counterfeit righteousness from my list of things to do, but rather to seek righteousness above all things. 

When I began looking at the men and women of the Bible, so much of their lives were unplanned.  God told Abraham to leave his home and he didn't know where his final destination would be.  Moses was taken from the palace life of Egypt to end up a leader to God's people and 40 years of that he spent wandering with them in the wilderness.  Ruth had no idea what awaited her with her mother-in-law Naomi.  She just knew that being with her was the right thing to do. 

I do not think that having a plan is a bad thing.  There is some planning that must go into successfully accomplishing things.  I know God has called me to homeschool, therefore to do so effectively I must plan.  My home needs to remain clean, so I must plan the chores that must get done to keep it that way.  To save money at the grocery store, I need to do menu planning so that I don't overspend.  But, my yearly plan has changed.  Although my goals were not bad, God has shown me that they were not the best.  It is as if God is was telling me that if I focus on my character and being all He desires me to be, all the other things will fall into place.  It forces me to seek after those things that are most important more diligently...like holiness, righteousness, patience, love, etc.  If I posses those qualities like I should, God will naturally move me by His Holy Spirit where it is He wants me to go and what it is He wants me to do.  I realized that sometimes my long range planning was an excuse to keep myself from the moment by moment communicating with the Spirit of God and being open to His leading at any time.  It was a hard thing to let go of in one respect.  I have listened to those I respect talk about the need for 200 year plans!  You can imagine how exciting that was for me!  And although I am not saying that planning like that is wrong...that may be exactly what God has called someone else to do.  But, clearly God changed my direction.  And at times, it is a scary thing to change course and seemingly go against the tide.  But isn't that what living a life filled with God's Spirit is all about?  So now, instead of waking up and running through my mind all the list of things that I can see myself checking off for the day.  I wake up and say, "Lord, fill me with Your Spirit.  Make me more Christ-like today.  Let me be Your hands and feet to my family and all those I come in contact with...and let me be open to the schedule, events, and places You desire me to do."  And although it is a much greater effort to live in a constant awareness of the Spirit of God and an attitude of prayer, it is eternally and infinitely more rewarding!

Funny, but so true!

I don't know how you feel about the area of sports.  We all probably have some very strong emotions when it comes to this subject.  I came from a home where sports was an idol.  There was always a game of some kind on the TV or radio.  Church was easily missed to get ready for big bowl games.  My father would get so upset when his team lost at times that for days it was difficult to be around him because he would almost go into a depression.  I became an avid college basketball fan.  Of course, it didn't help that I attended UNC-Chapel Hill!  This became a powerful tool for time with my father.  Sports was one of the few things where I felt we could make a real connection.  Because I grew up this way, I quickly saw the emptiness of this type of existence.  Vicariously living through the lives of the sports figures on the screen seemed very sad to me.  As a result, I couldn't even tell you who was playing in the Super Bowl or when it was to be on. I don't know when college basketball season officially starts, and I don't have my favorite player anywhere.  Well, okay, I take that back.  I like Tim Tebow…but not because he is a football player, but because of his love and courageous stand to be a witness for Christ!  

This video is funny and sad at the same time.  I am not saying that watching any sports event is sinful.  But, does our culture spend too much time on a game that matters little in the scope of eternity when there are so many other important things we could be doing.  Is our obsession as a culture with sports just another way for the enemy to keep us distracted from kingdom work?  Just a thought.

Denying Self

One of the books on my reading list this year is Radical by David Platt.  Amazingly, this was one of the textbooks used for a class that my husband took at Southeastern Seminary last semester for an ethics class.  Although I have not read the book yet, my husband would read enough excerpts from it to me to peak my interest and to start us talking at length about what biblical Christianity really looks like.  We have had these conversations before.  It is as if the Lord is bringing us to the realization that this western culture is very foreign to the real cross carrying, gospel centered, selfless service type of Christianity that Christ speaks of in the Bible.

So much of what we do here is so very ME centered.  Our hobbies, our sporting events, our spare time…all revolves around us…what we enjoy…what makes us happy…what we feel we have earned the right to do.  When I read about the life of Christ and His disciples however, I never see this ME centered living.  You don't see Paul running off to the nearest Olympic event to watch his favorite athlete compete.  You don't see Peter saying, "I worked my whole life as a fisherman…I did my time…Now it's time for me to enjoy my days!  I've earned it!"  You don't see the early Christians carting their children all over God's earth to the next event, or competition, or party…or whatever so they will be well-rounded and have all these accomplishments behind their names.  One could easily argue that this is because these types of things didn't exist in the early days of the church, therefore they couldn't.  Well, that is partially correct.  Sports have been around since then for sure!  We got the concept of the Olympics from the Greeks!  But, that would not be my question.  My question would be, "If they were around then, would the early church have been participating?"  I think not…at least not to the extent we do today.  The early church's philosophy was cross carrying…think about it.  A cross was not a pretty thing.  Oh, we wear them around our necks and hang them in our houses…because today they are a symbol of true salvation for us.  But, back then…the cross was a symbol of execution, of death, of pain!  And Jesus tells us to take this cross and carry it daily.  What does that mean?  Are you dying daily to your desires for those of Christ?  What cross are we carrying?

“We are settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves.” 

― David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream 

Now, before you think I am too radical, let me tell you what I am not saying.  I am not saying that having some activities is a wrong thing.  But, we need to ask ourselves…why do we do these things?  Are they all about us, or are they about Him?  As a disciple of Christ, shouldn't everything be about Him?  We make sure our children are involved in all these activities that we deem to be beneficial, but how many times do you make sure they have a chance to share the Gospel, work in a kitchen serving the homeless, visit a nursing home, pray outside an abortion clinic, give to orphans and widows?  Todays kids get their latest video games and DVD's, Kindles, Ipod, Ipads, etc., but when was the last time they were the hands, feet and voice of Christ to a lost and dying world?  When was the last time you or I were?

“If we were left to ourselves with the task of taking the gospel to the world, we would immediately begin planning innovative strategies and plotting elaborate schemes. We would organize conventions, develop programs, and create foundations… But Jesus is so different from us. With the task of taking the gospel to the world, he wandered through the streets and byways…All He wanted was a few men who would think as He did, love as He did, see as He did, teach as He did and serve as He did. All He needed was to revolutionize the hearts of a few, and they would impact the world.” 

― David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream 

This isn't just a problem with our children.  It begins with us.  You know, I would guess that our retired generation today is probably one of the least fulfilled and unhappy in decades.  The more our culture has immersed themselves in their own desires, the unhappier we have gotten.  Remember it was Jesus who said it is better to give than to receive.  Those words are true.  And if we continue to live for our next trip, our next sporting event, our next this or that…we will always come away empty and unfulfilled.  I cringe to think what we American Christians will have to answer for…how much money have we spent on our own amusements when there are people literally dying around the world just for something to eat?  Or our fellow Christians who would suffer great hardship just for a Bible and some of us barely read ours or we have several in our homes and not even give it a second thought?  What about persecuted Christians around the world who need help and medical attention just because they have claimed Christ and risked all?  Where your treasure is…there will your heart be also.  So next time you are heading for the golf course or the video game store or to get a Starbucks coffee…stop and ask yourself…if I just gave this up just one time a week, month, you fill in the blank…how could I take this money and further the kingdom's work?

“But then I realize there is never going to be a day when I stand before God and He looks at me and says, 'I wish you would have kept more for yourself.' I'm confident that God will take care of me.” 

― David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream

“Radical obedience to Christ is not easy... It's not comfort, not health, not wealth, and not prosperity in this world. Radical obedience to Christ risks losing all these things. But in the end, such risk finds its reward in Christ. And he is more than enough for us.”
― David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream

“We desperately need to explore how much of our understanding of the gospel is American and how much is biblical.”
― David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream

The Rhythm of Life

Some days feel like a caption off a hallmark card…you know the feeling…those days when just the thought of being alive overwhelms you, the sun shines, the flowers bloom…you sense the beauty of God's creation and you exude joy!

Those days the rhythm of home and life seems to flow smoothly and you can easily get lost in the beauty of it all.  I love to soak up those days when they arrive…learning to thank God for these small glimpses of glory.

Then, there are those days when the rhythm of life seems to bump and weave and create havoc.  Instead of a home serene and clean, you get mounds of clutter in corners of your home due to sickness.  Instead of sitting down to dinner at the big table, you spend your time on couches with sick children.  Sometimes strange things happen…like both Mommy and Daddy getting a stomach bug at the same time…and then you realize you are thankful for different things.  Thankful that it is not always like this…thankful that you have an older daughter who knows how to keep the rhythm of the home going for the others and to take care of her parents when needed…thankful that God is still God no matter what is happening…thankful for Christian friends who help out when needed...and thankful that you once again get a glimpse of glory by realizing you are bound for a place where there is no more sickness.  These are the days we have had this last week.  But God is still God…and He is training us for His purposes.  And for that, we can always be thankful!

Anywhere but There, Lord…Please!

Being a military spouse, you get used to the constant moving.  Not that one always like it, but it just goes with the territory of military life.  But there usually is a place or two on everyone's list that ranks at the very bottom for desirable places to live.  We all have our different reasons.  Some prefer the cold, others warmer climates.  Some love the plentiful trees and flowers of the south, others the wide open spaces of the west, still others the heartland of America.  If you ask most military people, they can give you the one or two places they would least like to go…and the reasons for it.  There have only ever been two on my list…otherwise, I am pretty easy going when it comes to picking up and planting myself somewhere else.  The first place I would never choose…Alaska.  Why?  The six months of light deprivation would probably drive me crazy.  I NEED my sunshine!  It makes me happy!  The second place I would never choose…Oklahoma!  Now, for you Oklahomans out there…nothing personal.  This is just my list.  I wasn't too crazy about my own southern hometown either.  Two days ago, we found out where we are going next…want to take a guess? FORT SILL, OKLAHOMA!  Yes, number two on my least desirable place to live.  In case you are curious about this place I will soon call home...here we go:

1)  LOTS and LOTS of days of 100 degree weather.

2)  Home of the brown tarantula (Did I ever tell you I have arachnophobia?)

3)  Has my second least favorite arachnid - the scorpion.

4)  301% above the national average for tornado activity

5)  Higher than the national average crime rate…need I go on?

Yes, in September (Praise the Lord He gave me 8 months to get a handle on this one) we are Oklahoma bound.

But, the most discouraging news…the two things I prayed about most…finding a doctor who specializes in the care I need and a good church.  God knew that even Ft. Sill would be welcome if those two factors were met.  

I don't know about the church yet…but there is not a single chiropractic doctor that specializes in the care I need in the whole state of Oklahoma.  The nearest one…three hours away in Texas.

So, what am I to do?  Cry?  Check…did that!  Have myself a pity party?  Check…did that too!  Get mad at God!  Heaven forbid!  Does this mean He doesn't love me?  That He doesn't understand my needs?  That He didn't ordain these events for my good?  No, it doesn't.  How can I talk about the Sovereignty of a loving God and not believe it when things like this come into my life?  This is one of those moments when I do not see the hand of my God…but I choose to trust His heart.  I know He loves me…I know He knows my physical needs…and I believe that He will work ALL things for my good.  So, no more pity parties, crying spells, and rantings about the negatives.  God has ordained that I go to Oklahoma…what do I believe He will do?

1)  Give me lots of sunshine with that 100 degree weather…after all, sunshine makes me happy.

2)  Help me face my fear of spiders.

3)  Oh, and scorpions too!

4)  Show me that He is the God of the storms of life…whether they be the ones over the horizon, or the ones I face personally

5)  Show me that He is the One I put my safety in…not what man can do to me.

What about the doctor?  Well, I am trusting Him for a miracle…and Oklahoma is just as good a place for a miracle as any other!

What If this is All There is?

Slipping out of bed this morning at 5:45 am for my devotional in a very quiet house was a special treat.  It has been a while since I have felt rested enough to get up at that time.  God is good.  My health has been up and down for several years now…I will feel better for a while…then take a nosedive again.  I have tried this cure and that cure, but nothing lasting.  I have been tested for most things under the sun, nothing conclusive.  I have prayed and prayed, and the Lord has given me healthier moments, but nothing lasting.  What does a Christian do with this?          

I have been angry, hurt, depressed and numb over it all.  I have compared myself with others and asked God for a reason.  I have searched scripture, confessed sin and at times, given up.  And then the thought came to me…what if this is all there is?  What if this is what God has ordained in my life?  Does He cease being a loving Father, an all-wise God, my salvation, my Jehovah-Rapha?

No, God is still God.  He is still good.  He still loves me and is working all things, even this, for my good.  Do I desire healing?  Yes, absolutely.  But, He has brought me to the point that I desire holiness more.  So now, instead of praying constantly for a miracle of health, I now pray for a miracle of righteousness.  Lord, make me holy.  Lord, if this is what it takes to accomplish that, then it will be worth it.  

Do I truly believe that I am the bondservant of God?  Because if I do, that means every area in my life…even my health.  So, for today, I thank God for this moment of energy and I realize the preciousness of it.  It is truly a gift…undeserved, special, relished.  It is the hand of a God who gives to me what I do not deserve, and I am thankful.  May these moments never be taken for granted, but I pray point me instead to the heart of my Father.  May you also thank God for the gifts He has given you today.  Oh, how much we take for granted.  Stop for just a moment today and thank God for all His gifts.  Today is all we are promised.  And may you have sweet fellowship with Him!

Starting Off a New Year

I always enjoy the freshness of a new year.  I am a goal-driven person, so making lists and goals at the start of a new year is something I enjoy.  Even if I do not accomplish all the goals that I laid out for that year, I always accomplish more than I would if I have never formulated a plan.  I would like to share some of the goals I have been praying and planning about.

I like to pray about a special verse to apply to me personally during the coming year.  This year it is John 3:30, "He must increase, but I must decrease."  So many times I have found myself fighting in my own strength…running on my own energy…making my own plans, and never fully giving those things over to the Lord.  He knows what He wants of me.  He knows where my focus should be.  Christ is the One who should be governing my every step.  I want to wake up every morning and say, "Lord, this is your day…your schedule…do with it as you will."  And then, I want to take every bump in the road, and every blessing that comes my way as the movement of a Sovereign God who only desires the best for me.  For me to do that…He must increase, but I must decrease. 

Time is so short and so precious.  We will never get this day back.  Did we live it for His glory?  If we are given tomorrow, what will we do with it?  

I would encourage you to pray about what the Lord might have you do differently this year and begin working toward that plan.  I have many things still ruminating in my mind and heart, but I thought I would share a few with you.  One of the first things I do is make a reading list for the year.  There are so many wonderful books out there.  If you are interested in my reading list this year, you can find it here.

Some of the other goals on my list this year:

1.  Complete three courses toward my Master Herbalist degree.

2.  At LEAST a once a month date night with my husband.  (Hopefully we will get that up a little higher before the year is through)!

3.  Consistent one on one time with my children.

4.  Memorize more scripture.

5.  Develop a more thankful heart.

6.  More consistent read aloud times with the family.

7.  Develop reading lists for my individual children.

8.  Incorporate new healthy recipes.

9.  Begin dejunking before our upcoming move after summer.

10. Organize closets and drawers.

11. Work on scrapbooking more often.

12.  Blog 2 to 3 times a week.

These are just a few of the areas I plan to work toward this year.  But, I have also laid this plan before the Lord to change or redirect in any way He sees fit.  After all, a plan without Christ at the center is not worth doing anyway.  

How is the Lord leading you this new year?  I pray that whatever it is, you will be blessed beyond measure.  May you seek Him more this year!