Saturday, December 31, 2011

Some Principles of Courtship ~ Part One

I wanted to share some insights given at the conference by Paul Washer.  He spoke about the Principles of Courtship that I found extremely helpful.  He encouraged us to copy his handout and pass it out as we would like.  Since I cannot do that for all of you, I thought I would try to write them in installments, and put the scripture references under each and then you can decide if you would like to keep them for a reference or guide.  I would also encourage each of you that can afford it, to buy the MP3 tapes of the conference.  We still have not listened to all of ours yet, but I am looking forward to doing so the beginning of the new year.  I hope to be sharing some of my goals for the coming year with you soon as well.  May you have a blessed New Year with Christ at the center of all you do!

Biblical Courtship by Paul Washer
Plowing Fertile Ground for Teaching:  Before we even begin to discuss courtship, we must be aware of our present reality as people, convinced that the entirety of our lives are to abound to the glory of God, and determined to live biblically:
 I.  We must be aware of our present reality as people.
      Judges 17:6, Hosea 4:6, Isaiah 1:4-6

II. We must be convinced that the entirety of our lives must abound to the glory of God and be submitted to God's revealed will.
       I Corinthians 10:31, II Corinthians 10:5, II Timothy 3: 16-17

The Context of Teaching:  In the same way that knowing the will of God in a specific moment springs forth from a life style of renewing the mind in the Word of God (Romans 12:2), courtship springs forth from a life-long biblical relationship between parent and child.

I.  Parents must strive to know the Scriptures.
    Proverbs 29:18, Hosea 4:6
II. Parents must strive to live as biblical examples.
      I Corinthians 4:15-17, I Corinthians 11:1, I Thessalonians 2:14, Matthew 23:2-3

III.  Parents must strive to love, teach, and govern biblically.  The godliness and Christ-likeness of the family is the most important goal of the godly man!
      Genesis 18:19, Deuteronomy 6:5-9, Joshua 4: 5-7, Ephesians 6:4, I Timothy 3:4

IV.  Children must be convinced of their parents' role.  
        A.  The parents' role is ordained by God and is the "first law" governing man's relationship to man.  Exodus 20:12

B.  A deeper look from Ephesians 6:1-3.
     1.  Children, obey your parents - to obey, listen, harken to;  of one who, on hearing a knock at the door, comes to listen who it is; the duty of a porter.
     2.  In the Lord - in the context of the Lord's authority
    3.  For this is right - righteous; observing divine law.
     4.  Honor your father and mother - to esteem them as valuable.
    5.  Which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth - a reference to a blessed life without fear of divine judgment.
C.  Moving beyond obedience to honor:  Leviticus 19:32
D.  Divine Penalties:  Jude 1:6, Deuteronomy 21:18-21

(There is quite a bit more, but for time and not to have the post too terribly long, I will share more later.  I hope some of you who are pursuing this route will find this helpful.  God bless!)


Anonymous said...

Courtship was something I only heard of in recently. (in the past couple of years)It imm. intrigued me and I began reading as much as I could about it. Then the tears came. Why didn't my parents know? Why didn't they teach me that I was special enough to deserve that kind of a gentleman who wanted to marry me before me handing over the gift of my body in any form? As a mom to 5 girls, I knew this was exactly what I wanted for my daughters... a marriage starting out on solid ground. God centered. I myself, got pregnant at 16. Married her father by a judge at almost 18 and divorced him when I was 23. He was a dishonest man who cheated on me regularly. I married my best friend one yr later. (we had known each other for almost 3 yrs at that point. I met him one of the many times my ex-husband left me during the course of our marriage) It wasn't until I was 30, 5 yrs ago, that I began reading my Bible everyday. And it wasn't until that time that I was introduced to modesty as well. Gotta love Michelle Duggar. Praise God for cable! Tv's might not be great, but having one changed my family's life! I was a professional singer before I began reading the Bible and modesty was what Amish people did. That's what I was taught by society. As we know, God forgives, He heals and He restores. But what about my eldest daughter? She had already been bathed in what the world deems right... what her biological father deemed right and how I lived in my past. I have 4 younger girls who won't ever know the past me thankfully. Not unless I chose to share it with them. They won't ever see how short my skirts were or watch me smoke, drink heavily and curse. They will only know the saved mom who cherishes God's Word more than anything else. I have faith that they will benefit from my life changes. At the same time, I struggle with my 18 yr old and her impact on her sisters. Her definition of modesty is warped. She is a beautiful person inside and out... just one who has been damaged by society... by how she saw her parents live and by television and radio. She is who she is partly because of who I was. My sins are very relevant even today as I strain to show her how misguided I was in my thinking and the decisions I made. I had no real guidance. I pray... I teach... and I pray some more. The rest is up to God. I enjoyed your post. Thank you <3


His bondservant said...


Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this matter. And praise the Lord He has revealed more of His truths to you. I too, came from a TOTALLY different background than this and still carry the scars of my former life. But, I am thankful there is a God who forgives fully. Remember where you were…where I was…and God still reached out and picked us up and gave us new life and a new outlook. He can do the same for your daughter. The wonderful thing is that now she has a mother who is an example for her. There is no telling how God will use you to accomplish His purposes in her life. Praying for you and for her.