Thursday, September 24, 2009
God's Will, My Rest
It is a hard thing sometimes to submit to the Providence of God. In my finite way of thinking, sometimes I think I know better than He does what is best for me. I surely would not have chosen my current health issues if given a top ten list of ways to refine me. But, that is why I am not God. I do not see the big picture, nor do I know what is best for me. I have bought into the whole Western mindset of happiness...you know...nice house, good health, vacation twice a year...all those things that have been ingrained in me by my culture that are true contentment. But, really, that is not what Christ says. He cares more about our holiness than our happiness.
Yesterday, I had a rough day. There were a few "episodes" of dizziness, tingling in my hands and legs, some muscle weakness...and today, although I am not 100%...today has actually been a much better day for me. It is a strange feeling to never know which one you will wake up to...the good day or the difficult one. But, God is using this to remind me of the brevity of this thing called life. None of us ever really knows if tomorrow we will wake up. So, it is important to live every day, every hour, every second as though this one might be our last. On my good days, I am learning to appreciate things I took for granted before, to be thankful to a God who has given me strength. On my difficult days, I am learning to wait on God, to submit to His authority, and to rest...rest in His providence and know that He loves me regardless of how I feel. It is not easy, but it is a good thing. So, right now, I am resting in His will, and what better place is there to be?