Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Our Everyday Standards for Modesty ~ Part 2

I don't know if any of you remember the series I have been working on about training has been so long since I have written, I would not blame you if you had.  The packing, moving and setting up house has kept me from pressing on in this area, but today I am back with my second installment concerning modesty.  If you missed  part one, you may find it here.  

First and foremost, modesty begins with the heart.  I cannot stress this enough. It is possible for a woman to be dressed modestly on the outside, but yet not have a heart for modesty and purity.  God is the one who judges the heart.  So, we set standards for our daughters and let them continually know that even though we are setting up these standards outwardly, the standards they have before God on the inside is what matters most.  I do not, however, believe a woman can dress immodestly on the outside and still be modest on the inside. 

 Once again, I want to stress that these are our family standards…through prayer and with guidance from your husband, your family must adopt what you believe the Lord is telling you.  Here are some more guidelines we have set up for our family.  

1)  We have chosen not to wear shorts.  If we did wear shorts, they would be the longer kind that comes to the knee.  I don't know if women and young girls really understand the temptation it is for our brothers in Christ when most of the leg is exposed.  Unfortunately, with the short shorts and daisy duke style, our brothers have to combat this from every turn.  We decided as a family that we would rather travel further on the side of modesty than the other way.  

2)  We make sure our tops are long enough to cover our midriffs even when we stretch up our arms.  That is always an easy test to do.

3)  Our skirts that we wear are quite long…coming midway down the shin or close to the ankle.  They are free flowing and not figure hugging.  Just because you wear skirts does not mean you can't look fashionable.  It is harder and harder to find skirts that are modest, but they are out there.  I hope to share with you soon some of the places that we shop and how we find modest clothing for decent prices.

4)  Although it is a personal decision of our family to wear dresses and skirts mainly, we do not believe it is a matter of sin if you do not.  We do not break fellowship with others who wear pants.  That has never been an issue with us.  We like the idea that our girls look feminine.  When they are wearing dresses or skirts, there is no denying that they are girls.  They sit more feminine and it does not inhibit them in anyway from playing or anything else.  We do, however,  have them wear leggings under their skirts/dresses when climbing trees, swinging, etc. so they will remain modest.  There are rare times when it is more modest, in my opinion, to wear some type of pants.  For instance, my daughter and I frequent the chiropractic office for care.  We have to lay down on the table and the doctor has to move our legs up and down often to check for misalignment.  We have found capri pants to be much more suitable in this circumstance to keep us modest.  

I never really thought that what I wore would be a huge statement about myself to others.  But, there have been several occasions where men have commented on my attire.  When I was in a restaurant one day that I frequented quite a bit, the manager approached me one day and said, "Your husband must be very proud of the way you dress."  There was nothing fancy about what I had on; it was just that there were so many women bombarding the eye gates of the men in this place that someone who was modest was a welcome to them.  Another time when I was leaving a store, an older man stopped me and said, "It is so nice to actually see a woman dressing like a woman."  Once again, nothing flashy at all about what I had on…just a clean skirt and blouse.  What you wear matters.  It is a statement to those around you.  Pray about what you would like your daughters to "say" through their clothing to those around them.  Remember…we are raising the King's daughters.  Make sure they are bringing honor to their Heavenly Father in this area.


Chelle said...

Wonderful. Its great that we can be a testimony to others. We have had things said to us too. It makes you feel so good that God gives you the desire to please him.

Sarah said...

Loved this second installment in your series Jackie!

Our family wears what we believe to be God honouring clothing (modest, feminine). We are the only family at our church who wear modest, feminine clothing. We can only hope that others my be encouraged to do what is right.

Our pastors wife said that she "didn't really have the time or money" to dress femininely! I quickly corrected her, in that most of our clothing comes from thrift stores...she seemed very surprised by that!

Great post! Thank you for stopping by my blog today and leaving your sweet comment!

Wendy said...

Amen, Amen, Amen! I appreciate your heart! This is such an important area, and there thankfully is a growing interest in it.
I agree with you: women and girls have no idea how their dress affects men. Thank you for sharing your standards, and for desiring to live Godly in this fallen world.
I'm a SAHM, Homeschooler with grown children, aspiring to be a Titus 2 older woman and I've also written a Series on Modesty (the posts are individually listed on my sidebar to click on). I hope you'll come over and visit!
Faith's Firm Foundation

Kari said...

I have a son but reading things like this help me too. It helps me to remember that he is getting exposed to this everywhere we go and that I need to set the example of the type of woman he should look for when he's older. Thank you so much!

His bondservant said...

Yes, there is great contentment in obedience to God.

I am sure you are a wonderful example to those in your church. And with the way you dress, you make a statement without ever saying a word. Blessings to you!

Thank you for the kind words and encourgement. I will definitely be making a visit over to your blog soon.

God bless you,

The Adventures of a Simple Life said...

Great post Jackie! I truly believe some women do not realize the temptations they cause men...others...even Christians...I believe do but secretly like that they have men look at them to make them "feel good".

Even young boys are tempted at looking at girls.

I am sure other ladies are thankful they never have to worry about the attire your family wears.

More importantly, I do believe you are honoring God. Like you, I do not believe it is a sin to wear pants, but I love wearing dresses and feeling feminine. Our girls wear them 99 percent of the time also.

So glad you are back. I have missed ya! Hope you are settling in well!!!


1ofHis said...

I tell ya..teaching our daughters about modesty can be quite challenging. I went to the mall to buy my oldest daughter some church clothes. I left with very little. I couldn't believe how tacky young girl's clothes are. I don't shop very much so I was kinda shocked! You have to set up some kinda standard on modesty, or buying clothes can be very frustrating. Enjoyed your post!

Lois said...

Well-written, Jackie. Thank you for your kind approach to modesty. (I have met some rather militant dress police!) I had some woman ask me once if I homeschooled, because I was wearing a denim jumper. I was rather surprise, but I have never had a man comment to me.