Holiday Celebrating at Our House ~ Part One

Holiday preparations are certainly shaping up at our home.  Presents are bought and decorating almost completely done.  I have always been one to start my decorating early...I like to enjoy the white lights as long as I possibly can.  Over the years, the ways in which we have celebrated Christmas has changed pretty dramatically.  It is a pleasant thing to see the ways in which the Lord has personally led our family to worship.  I guess I have always had a problem with the commercialism tied to Christmas.  It seems this time of year things are about anything but Christ.  Even in many of our churches, we have so many activities tied to the Christmas season, that it becomes an exhausting scramble from one party, sing, cookie exchange, ornament exchange, etc. to another.  I find it ironic that our Lord chose to be born in an out of the way stable...no fanfare, no party...just a quiet stable in Bethlehem.  Is it any wonder that He says, "Be still and know that I am God."

When my husband and I first got married, we always knew when we had children that there would be no Santa Claus done in our home.  Both of us had already come to that conclusion even before marriage...which is a really great thing...there wasn't even the temptation for an argument over the man in the red suit.  I remember finding out as a child that Santa did not exist.  It was actually pretty tough on me because I knew that I had actually been told a lie.  When I found out about Santa...all the other imaginary figures in my life crumpled at the same time.  The Easter bunny and the tooth fairy certainly couldn't be real either.  It made Christmas a downer for me.  Oh, I had always been told about Christ, but He didn't have the same "excitement" for a small child as the man who rode around in the sleigh with 8 reindeer (well, 9 if you count Rudolph) and gave out gifts to good little boys and girls.  I would stay up late at night looking out my window hoping to get a glimpse of Rudolph's red nose or to catch the sound of the jingle bells on the sleigh.  Then...public school came along and all these kids started talking about how Santa wasn't real, it was really just my Mom and Dad.  I was crushed.  Then, when I grew up and became a Christian, I made up my mind that my children would not hear of Santa in our home...they would only know him like they knew any other make-believe person.  Christmas would only and ever be about the birth of Christ.  And we would thank Him for any gift we ever got...He is the One after all that enables us to get or buy anything.  Have my children suffered for not believing in Santa?  Absolutely not.  They have thanked us many times for not telling them about him.  When we used to open gifts on Christmas Eve, my husband would first read the account of the birth of Christ from Luke, then we would pray and thank the Lord for the gifts He enabled us to get that year.  It was very special to see the children thankful unto God for their presents, rather than an imaginary Santa Claus.  Our children have never suffered from thinking there is no Santa.  Amazingly, the hardest opposition has been from well-meaning family and friends who felt we were "ruining" Christmas for our children because we did not tell them about Santa.  I never understood the logic that somehow Christmas was ruined because we focused more on Christ.  I think what is hardest for people is to question their traditions and to give those up...to be looked at as "those" people...you know the people you think are a little weird, but you smile at them anyway.  I thought we were radical enough with that one...but over the years the Lord has changed our view of Christmas celebrating even more...if you think we're odd for not doing Santa...stay tuned...more to follow...and to many, it makes the Santa Claus thing look pretty mild!  But oh, how it has enriched our family and how we celebrate the Savior!  Until next time...God bless!

Teaching Our Children to Give

It seems like an odd topic, especially with the holidays right around the corner. How do we teach our children to give?  How do we instill in them what the Bible says, that it is more blessed to give than to receive?  The way most people seem to be frantically shopping for the newest and latest toy or fad that their children want, it seems like a foreign concept.  But, as Christians, it is our duty to teach Biblical principles, rather than wordly ones.  I am always amazed that people say they are worshipping the Christ-child at Christmastime, yet how many people ever give Him a gift?  How do we worship Christ and continue to amass things to ourselves?  People in stores just get more and more selfish and frustrated.  They push and shove and even fight one another to get the latest technological gadget.  How do we model a different way of giving?  First of all, I will tell you that our family does not have all the answers.  We do not have it all wrapped up.  We are simply sinners saved by grace, and nothing more.  These are some of the ways we try to teach giving to our children.  God may lead your family to approach it differently. 

1)  Giving must be taught year round.  It is not enough to give gifts to others at Christmas or birthdays...it should be a way of life for a Christian.  How much of your income goes to helping orphans, widows, the persecuted church, your home church?  These things are a way of life, not a one-time splurge when the mood hits.  Christian living is sacrificial living.  How about sponsoring a child from Compassion?  How about making bags of essentials for persecuted Christians who have lost everything for naming the name of Christ?  What about giving monthly to an organization that has blessed your family and needs the funds to further their ministries...Lamplighter, Vision Forum, etc.  A tenth of our tithe is the minimum requirement...what about giving more?  And that tenth should be before the government takes our money for taxes.  God comes first.  He should never get the leftovers.  We have chosen as a family to sponsor three children through Compassion International in Africa.  We allowed our children to choose the sponsored children.  They chose the ones who had been waiting the longest for a sponsor and who were in the AIDS infested areas of Africa.  My oldest daughter has freely given money given to her to help these children.  Showing our children what other children around the world are facing makes them understand their blessings, as well as their responsibilities to help others in the name of Christ.

2)  We give regularly to the persecuted church.  We pray for Christians being persecuted in other places because of their faith.  We receive the Voice of the Martyrs magazine and the children see what it means to name the name of Christ.  They realize how much we take for granted in this Western culture of ours.  It is a good reminder. 

3)  We limit what our children see by way of magazines and such.  We do not do TV, so they are not bombarded with the latest commercials for toys and such.  But, we cannot stop people from sending those free catalogs around this time  of year that is chocked full of toys.  So, most times before they enter the house, they are thrown away.  We choose the catalogs they view.  Right now those consist of Vision Forum, Lamplighter,  and Keepers of the Faith. 

These are just a few of the ways we try to instill giving in our children.  And we have begun to see fruit of those labors.  Another by product of this is that our children don't ask for expensive gifts and my problem is usually trying to think of something to get them because they do not ask for much.  My oldest daugther (14) has asked for a journal, books (such as Joyfully at Home) and a small purse.  My son (9) has asked for a $12 pop gun from Vision Forum, a police coloring book and he wants to learn how to play chess.  My daughter (7) wants some Betsy-Tacy books and a journal.  My son (6) wants deodorant (to be like Daddy), chapstick and a $12 pop gun.  And my youngest (4) wants a stuffed guinea pig, a drawing pad, a housecoat and a $12 pop gun!!!  She tells me she is going hunting with the boys!  What a blessing it is to get a list such as this! May we as mothers continue to teach our children that it is truly better to give then to receive.  The best way to do this is always by modeling.  May the Lord teach us to be givers...what better way to show the world the love of Christ today and everyday!

Our Family Truths ~ Evaluating Reading Materials ~ Part One

One of the things I enjoy most about blogging is being able to keep what I call an online journal.  I am able to write about so many things that are going on in our lives and put my thoughts down in a somewhat organized, succinct way...although there are many times I feel like a rambling blogger!  But, I thought it would be beneficial to let you all know a little bit more about the Fowlers besides the little glimpses of our lives.  I thought it would be nice to let you step inside our philosophies of life and share with you how we feel the Lord has led us in making certain decisions for our family.  I do want to say however, that I am NOT sharing this to say that if your family does not follow these guidelines they are wrong.  What your family does must be done in light of Scripture, prayer, the leadership of your husbands and the personal vision you feel is best for your family.  The things I hope to share with you over the next few months are areas God has spoken specifically to OUR family.  However, I do believe the Bible is very clear about what it addresses.  It is not a book of grey areas...on the commandments God states in scripture, there is no debate.  What God calls sin is sin whether your family or my family interprets it that way or not.  I read a quote just recently that I really like...it went like this.  "Right is still right if no one is doing it and wrong is still wrong if everyone is doing it."  In our society, where so many things the Bible calls sin is the norm, that is something that would be well worth remembering.  
      One of the first areas the Lord directed us when we were young parents was in the area of reading materials.  What is appropriate for our children to read?  What is a proper criteria to judge a book we would buy to add to our in-home library?  This is not always an easy assignment and as we have grown in our role of parenting, our views have shifted over the years.  We try desperately to look for materials first of all that are Christ honoring.  Therefore, we have a lot of books from publishers like Lamplighter and continue to add these to our library when monies allow.  It is so important to watch what our children read.  Books truly do influence us for good or for evil.  I can see that many things I read as a child had negative influences on me and helped form ungodly ideas in my thinking.  Therefore, we try to evaluate books before the children have a chance to read them.  We have also found that we have trusted certain curriculum choices and bought books that we have later gotten rid of because they did not match our families philosophies.  So, how do we go about evaluating books?

1.  Does it honor Christ?  That should always be the first question when deciding on reading material.  Not every book we have is written by a Christian author.  Many of the classics are not written by Christians.  But, just because they are deemed "classics" doesn't mean our children have to read all of them.  How many adults do you know today that are versed in all the classics?  We try to make sure that our desire to provide our children the best education possible never trumps our desire to encourage them in Godly living.

2.  What religious views does the author hold?  Everyone comes from a religious viewpoint.  Even athiests, by not believing in a god, hold to a god-less religion.  Those views will influence every aspect of who they are, and in turn, will influence their writings.  If you read a book by a feminist author, often times you will find women in the story who feel trapped by their homelife.  They "want more."  Many times they will usurp the God given roles of their fathers and husbands to make a "better" life for themselves.  Don't underestimate how these "ideas" put in the form of a well-written story can influence young minds.  What is the author's view of family?  Every author has one...does it promote what you are teaching your children?  This is the very reason we stopped reading the Berestain Bears books.  In most of those books, you will find the father is portrayed as a weakling.  The mother is the only one who seems to know what to do in situations...and the children just humor their father...well, because that is just the way Dad is.  This attitude of showing men as weak and ignorant is pervasive in our culture...we certainly do not want to promote these ideas in the books we read to our children.

3.  Does it have occultic practices?  You would think this would be an easy one huh?  I thought so too.  We don't do Harry Potter because of it.  However, we have been great fans of "Lord of the Rings."  Well, that is written by a Christian right?   And for the record, I am not trying to put into question Tolkein's salvation.  However, whether I like it or not, the character Gandalf in those books is a wizard and God is perfectly clear about His view on the subject of witches and wizardry.  I would not have had a problem with the book if Gandalf had been portrayed as evil.  But, how can I read in the Bible that God calls this wicked and then read to my children about Gandalf the "good wizard?" 

   "When thou art come into the land which the LORD they God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations:  There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch, or a chamrer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a nercromancer, for all that do these things are an abomination unto the LORD and because of these abominations the LORD they God doth drive them out from before thee."  Deut.  18:9-11

 Remember that TV show "Bewitched?"  Once again, calling good what the Lord has called evil.  Merlin in "King Arthur" is also troublesome to me.  Some would say that we are overreacting.  After all, isn't "Lord of the Rings" Christian in its themes?  Well, good does win out over evil.  But, if that "good" is made of up a wizard, would God call that good? When I know what God says about sorcery, I really cannot imagine sitting down and reading these as bedtime stories to my children if He were sitting there listening in person.  If I err, I prefer to do it with a heart that takes what God says as He says it, rather than making excuses for why this practice is acceptable.  This was probably the hardest decision for me personally.  The "Lord of the Rings" books were my favorites as a child and I did read them to my children years ago.  But, I never felt easy about the wizardry and it was my husband that made the decision to not make these books reading material for our children anymore.  I finally had to come to the conclusion that at times, I value my pleasure (reading, viewing, etc.) above God's commandments.  To water down what God calls evil is just allowing me to get used to the dark.  If I do not make a distinction with my children now, then when they leave my house, will they watch things that dabble in this area?  Will games, computer and otherwise be acceptable, that have "good" witches, wizards and warlocks?  I don't want my children to justify such practices to me by saying, "Well, you and Dad let us read ______, or watch_____." 

I hope to post part two in a couple of days.  Pray about what you are reading to your children.  Does it honor God?  Does it fit with your families goals in training your children?  God bless!  Until next time!