Since he has been gone, the little ones disobedient level has skyrocketed! I understand the reason...it is just hard to handle it alone. Then, we get the worst sickness we have had in almost a year. Our oven is going bad on us. The microwave is acting up. And just the other day I go to turn on the TV...dead! Completely dead! We do not have cable, but use it mainly for educational videos, or family viewing DVDs. Then there is the problem with the phone and internet service that I am experiencing.
To add to the situation...I do not like spiders! My spider killer is in the desert. I have found the two biggest spiders I have seen in a LONG time in our house. Who is left to kill the big guys? Yep...me...the arachnophobia queen! Then there was the wasp that got into our house that I had to kill...and the bee. Oh, and of course since I have told the children the great value of bees for their pollination purposes, they begged me not to kill it. So, here I am gingerly trying to get a bee with a paper towel...lightly enough to not kill it, but strong enough to keep it from getting loose and stinging the lady it felt was its enemy...while trying to get it outside. You will be happy to know that it is safe in the outdoors and I am without injury! Looking back on it, it was probably quite comical.
Why is all this happening now? I don't know. I told my husband...you know...if everything went smoothly this whole year, just dealing with being without you would be enough to handle. Just being chief cook, nurse, chauffeur, comforter, teacher, laundress, mediator, spiritual leader, bug killer, (Yuck, I don't like that one!), gardener, accountant, maid, organizer,etc. would be quite enough to keep one busy. But, add the sleepless nights...appliances needing to be taken to the appliance graveyard, constant bickering...it gets quite taxing at times. Why is all this happening? I have no idea. But, I do know that God does not always tell me His reasons for things. In Isaiah 55:8-9 the LORD says, "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." And then there is the promise in Romans 8:28, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."
No, I don't know why all these things are happening. But I know that He does. I know that He loves me. I know that somehow He will work all this for His good. And whatever He does is good. I love the line of a song that says, "When you can't see His hand, trust His heart." So true! When we are in the midst of sorrow, physical pain, sleepless nights, seemingly one trial after another, at our wits end...we rest in the fact that we have a heavenly Father who knows our pain, our sorrow, our trials...and that He went before us in all of these circumstances. He upholds us. And He will make us more than conquerors in the end. When everything else seems to be falling apart, I rest in knowing that there is a God who holds me closest during these times...whether I "feel" it or not.